To preserve herself, however, from destitution, or what she considered worse, she wedded a journeyman carpenter, named Sheppard. She thought of all sorts of odd and desperate expedients, and with passionate petulance rejected them all. It came to her like a dear thing rediscovered, that she loved Capes. There were moments when she doubted whether the whole mass of movements and societies and gatherings and talks was not simply one coherent spectacle of failure protecting itself from abjection by the glamour of its own assertions. It troubled her conscience a little, but Melusine had learned well of Leonardo and she trusted his word Besides, no one could expect that a jeune demoiselle, in a foreign land, might carry out quite alone the difficult task with which she was faced. It feels like I’ve got a snake of mucus stuffing my entire throat, just one big solid rope.
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